I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
