I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
