remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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