She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
