Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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