i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
