One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize