remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
