He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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