so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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