LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
