i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
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