At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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