he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
grandma shit on top of the toilet
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
as a side note pls kill me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
