That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
