I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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