I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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