Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Its about making memories worth repressing
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
