we're blogging at a bar
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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