I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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