Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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