If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
