I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize