Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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