The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize