Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
