he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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