The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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