I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
