Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
