roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
