How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
