guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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