She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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