I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
