dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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