how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
