you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
