id be glad to
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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