If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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