PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
