i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
