i think my mom watched the whole time
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
