fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize