You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
