I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
