I'm lost and stupid without you.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
