Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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