I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Couch. On fire.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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