on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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