I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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