so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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