I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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