Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
