thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dignity is for republicans.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
