My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
