And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize