I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
