So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just tell him i said nine months
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
