that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
